Tuesday, August 25, 2009

The Pen Pusher Test

I just took the pen addict test at Lion and Pen and failed miserably. That is, I had to answer "yes" to too many questions - I won't say how many, but a sufficient number to know what my "problem" is. Of course, "problem" is a relative term, isn't it? I don't think I have a problem - I have a "hobby."

At any rate, I think the Pen Addict Test needs a companion test: The Pen Pusher Test. I offer the following ten questions based on what I imagine a pen pusher might do - having no personal experience myself with such behavior:

1. Do you entice others to write with your pens?
2. Do you lovingly describe to others the joy and glory of writing with fountain pens.
3. Do you quickly become defensive against remarks like, "They're scratchy." and "They leak."
4. Do you introduce others to the best discount online pen stores?
5. Do you give/lend pen catalogs to people?
6. Do you loan fountain pens to people who are getting that fountain pen wonder in their eye?
7. Do you actually give someone a fountain pen, when you see they are weakening?
8. Are you always ready to give advice to those who are succumbing to your temptations about what they might like when they buy their first, second and third pens?
9. Do you experience smug satisfaction when co-workers run into your office to show you what the UPS guy just delivered?
10. Are you constantly looking for new victims?

I won't suggest how many of these you would have to answer "yes" to, in order to figure out whether or not you are a pen pusher. But chances are, if your heart palpitated at the thought of answering these questions . . . well, we know what you are, don't we?


Alexandra said...

I'm not a pusher, just a victim. A happy, satisfied, ever wanting more victim.

The Missive Maven said...

This is awesome. I love the last paragraph... we know what we are, indeed.